Little hurdles

We're in our new office today, in Abu Dhabi's twofour54. I still haven't worked out what the name means, but it is clearly the media zone, as there are trendy types with their Mo-vember tasches still firmly on display, sauntering around in slacks and 'tees' in stark contrast to our pencil skirts and heels. Well, the boss isn't sporting the pencil skirt look. Yet. We will convert him.


My desk has a rather nice view of a car park, which seems to be the hangout of choice for out resting bus drivers. I have taken an appallingly bad photo with the blackberry, which will have to do until such time I manage to start carrying my camera around with me again.

We aren't sure what these buses do - they occasionally multiply, then furtively sneak off again, but we never actually see them moving. Perhaps there are Bond-esque trapdoors leading in and out of the grassy knoll behind. We aren't sure what that is either. What we do know, is that the orange building behind the grassy knoll on the far left.... houses a pub. Yes, we got the important information sorted before we finished unpacking the boxes.


However, we didn't account for the dongles.
I'm quite tempted to just leave that hanging.

The dongles are these amazingly expensive little gadgets that plug in to your computer and connect you to tinternet... but we only have two between three of us, as one broke mysteriously earlier on. So you type about three emails, then have to hand the dongle over, and try and remember what kind of work you did before there was email or internet. Amazingly difficult, actually.

Other hot topics of the day have covered whether or not access cards work if you hole-punch them, identifying local landmarks (atm, coffee providers that don't fob you off with bran muffins, ways to get mana'ish that looks like Lebanese Flower's version, rather than Carrefour's minging doughy round thing) with varying degrees of success.



Mini-hurdles - they brighten a quiet day in the office.

Head above the parapet...

It is winter in the sandlands, and weather is stunning. But I've been stuck inside trying to get to grips with whatever is going on with my darling adopted country, as they stick two fingers up to the international investment community, and shoot themselves in the foot where future funding from said community is concerned.

I feel like it has to have an impact on us local folk, but I can’t really work out what that will be. At the most selfish level, will I be taken seriously as a candidate when I leave this crazy town? On one level, my cv might be more interesting because of my exposure to a place on steroids. Or employers may see this period as so far removed from “reality” (whatever that may be) that my experience isn’t actually transferable back to the Western world. Not going anywhere any time soon, so I shall park worrying about that!

It is true that I’ve been pretty bloody negative about the sandlands since the announcement on Wed about the Govt not backing Dubai World’s debt. As the dust clears, I’m still a bit bruised, as if recovering from an hurtful and unexpected jibe from a long-term lover, but I am regaining some pride in this ridiculous adopted homeland of mine, and some objectivity that sits between the blinkered nonsense of the local media, and the doom & gloom pedalled by the UK media.

I’m afraid that it does seem to me that the invective unleashed by the UK and international media recently is something of a cathartic exercise for people who don't feel able to heap the same scathing scorn on their own governments when they feel betrayed and lost at home. Dubai is handy, in that regard, as it is a tiny country, unafraid to stick its head above the parapet and say "hey, world, look at us" ... which we all know is just-not-done in UK culture. Hence many of these puffed chested, soap box, told-you-so type editorials. But to me there is a real undercurrent of fear in many of these stories, a recognition that what happens in this tiny nation state in the middle of a region that confuses and frightens the western world, might actually impact the rest of the world, but cannot be controlled by them. There are no dictators here that can offer a robust excuse for western governments to storm in. Oceans of cash wash through from every corner of the world, good, bad, and ugly, but tell me that doesn't happen in Switzerland, London, or New York?

So the state of the world economy bothers you? Good. It bothers lots of us. But take a second to look at your own doorstep – UK debt for example. 400% of GDP, isn’t it? Dubai is just over 100, I think. No excuses, but a bit of realistic comparison would be useful instead of listing celebs who may or may not have been given free villas in some development complex that happens to be shaped like a palm tree.

In the UK, the government is bound to (albeit foggy) levels of transparency that make Sheikhs snort coffee through their noses at the very thought of releasing such information. I do still think that the “shut up” or “they know nothing” messaging has to stop, and at some point, someone at the top will have to go and get trained in the art of communications, come back, and teach their uncles/elders the art of sticking to messages, and working with, rather than against, the global media. Someone that they'll listen to. Like Fazza - the Crown Prince. Why not?

So what happens next? A much cleverer person than I said yesterday that the question should be – where are the questions? What are the questions? No one has the answers just yet – the meetings are starting to take place, and the restructuring staff have been appointed. So let’s start thinking of the questions that need answering.

Standing, shaking, in the aftermath of the Eid Holiday

So... it has been quite a mental Eid weekend that we are now emerging from, rubbing our eyes and wondering if the world is a couple of degrees skewiff from its axis.

For the uncaring, uninterested (um, click away now, this could turn in to a rant..), or just blissfully uninformed, on Wed last week, after the markets had closed, the Dubai Govt decided to declare that it wouldn't be backing Dubai World's debts, two weeks before the maturation of the Nakheel sukuk on Dec 14th, equalling up to $5.7bn maturing in May '10. They then went on holiday for Eid.

Global markets went a bit nuts. CDS swaps rocketed from about 300 to 570 points for Dubai, with other GCC countries taking about a 20% increase, and European markets getting hit. The pundits went wild, screaming doom from their media pulpits.

Thursday was supposed to be a peaceful religious festival, but many of us spent it watching various news sources, social media streams and and communications channels increasingly focusing on people predicting the end of Dubai, prounouncing gleefully on how its hubris had brought about the end of the glitzy Emirate.

I'm not good at the technicalities, but the calmer commentators debated the finer points of whether it was a default (the ratings agencies decided it was, and downgraded Dubai Inc companies accordingly), or whether this was a precaution prior to a voluntary default. Then they quickly clarified that there would be a restructure of Dubai World. Then Dubai World quickly clarified that DP World wouldn't be part of any such restructure, effectively ringfencing its crown jewels. But when the local markets opened yesterday DP World's share price dropped nearly 15%. It was fairly low before this kicked off.

Then the Dubai World conference call for investors couldn't go ahead ... because the phone lines were overwhelmed. Really?

Now they say that the Dubai Govt never promised to back Dubai World, that it isn't "part of the government" and never was. They suggest that at no time were these debt instruments touted around as safe as houses, with one of the key messages being "the govt will never let these fail, will never let these companies, part owned by the Dubai Govt, go under." I'd respectfully beg to differ, but I was never directly pitched to, so that is speculation. They are basically inferring that this is a game for grown ups, where each person must basically look out for themselves. I think they're right. I also think they should listen to their own advice.

Here is where Dubai needs to tread really bloody carefully. No, let me rephrase. Here is where Dubai needs to take off the large boots that it has previously used for stomping around and doing whatever it jolly well pleases, and start making amends.

Credibility is gone. There is no credibility. Global markets do not trust Dubai based companies to pay. They don't trust them to deliver. Markets reflect this - it is about 5 times as much to pick up Dubai debt than they are to look at AD or other GCC countries. Yes, that's about oil and resources, to an extent, but it is also about track record. And that is, well, shot to shit, right now.

The sad part, for me, is that there are individuals in the middle of this mess who are seriously smart people. There are comms people in the middle of this who know what it means to communicate well. I know, I've worked with them. But I am willing to wager that the FUD that is so prevalent around the emirate at the moment, is only a thin wispy version of that which is flying around the corridors of power. I'm willing to bet that the answer to all of those mental pundits spraying spittle as they fume and turn red in the face with frustration is... we don't know. There simply isn't an answer.

Yet. Maybe the guy from Deloittes who has been parachuted in to run the restructure will be the saviour and put a sensible plan in place. He has some smart predecessors who didn't manage to fix the chaos, but no-one had quite this much shit to sort through. There may be facts in there, there may be some masterplan, but for the first time in my 8 years in the Emirates, I don't think there is. I think the train has derailed, and I think it's going to take a big readjustment of attitude and patience thresholds, with a healthy dose of intelligence and humilty, to get this place back on track.

Ironically, if Dubai can get back on track, if it can beat this massive hurdle and regain the world's confidence, after a year of scathing, below the belt, "dark side" attacks, and get the respect of the financial community by truly acting with transparency, responsibility (fiscal and moral) and a bit of true Arab aristocratic standing (rather than Bedouin scuffling), it may have actually achieved the real end goal, to become one of the Arab cities that goes down in history as a success, rather than a slightly faded, dusty, derelict, city that once was glorious.

This land is your land...

But unlike the song, this land is not my land.

I've just watched an unashamedly sentimental episode of Boston Legal, clearly designed to be screened around the time of the American presidential elections. Whilst the debates were interesting (I always enjoy scriptwriters getting carte blanche to get real opinions off their chests) it did lapse in to a flag-fest, with twangy country music (this land is yoooor laaand...etc) and a couple of 'God Bless America' moments.

Here in the UAE, meanwhile, National Day is nearly upon us. Websites inviting one and all to record our tributes to Baba Zayed accompany flags on every corner. Somehow, nationalism in the UAE feels more heartfelt, more honest, and more sincere, than the Hollywood (or Boston) treatment of American pride.

I hope this country can preserve that honesty and innocence in its pride, and avoids the schmalz that can so easily accompany nationalistic fervour.

Watch your mouth...

I love this story. Partly because it indadvertently paints a wonderful picture of the chaos that reigns in the Dubai Courts, and partly because it is actually quite interesting from a privacy/rights point of view.

To briefly summarize the case - a business partner in a restaurant has been hauled in front of a judge for posting pictures of an ex-employee on Facebook, with slanderous comments about the amount of money he allegedly stole. The defendant has pleaded guilty ("because he agonized me") although apparently (according to FakePlasticSouks) this case may be running in parallel with one in another area of Dubai Courts. FPS makes the point that it is interesting partly because it was brought in front of a judge in the first place, marking a level of success for Dubai's fledgling eCrime division, or whatever it is called.

To me, it's another case examining how we set our own boundaries for behaviour online. When I arrived in the UAE, the Middle East was years behind the rest of the world in terms of technology trends and adoption. Today, that is far from the case. Even when we're talking about slandering people online, unfortunately.

The accepted rule of thumb is to behave online as you would in public. But for a new agency convert such as myself, what does that really mean? Clearly, the behaviour displayed in the case above was fit for the primary school playground and absolutely slanderous. However, is office chat really something you'd indulge in if your client was sitting at your desk? Probably not.

I have set myself new rules of thumb. Emails should reflect the language you would use in a business meeting, and any postings on social media should stay within the limits you would set yourself at your clients' evening events.

Oh.. and final rule of thumb... set my privacy settings on Facebook sky high, so that I can relax there, and be the person I am on Sunday mornings... :-)

Talking Ted

Spent the day today at TEDxDubai - a younger sibling of the global TED conferences that regularly blow my mind. The basic premise of the conference is "ideas worth spreading", and they seek to bring together all sorts of people to talk on topics across technology, entertainment and design (umm... T.E.D...) without a commercial aspect. You have to apply for a ticket to attend, and then it is free, meaning that the only people there are there because they want to attend, rather than seeing it as a tick in a box on an HR form.

Too much to tell about TEDxDubai... once there are videos on their site I'll post links. Suffice to say, I enjoyed it - I hung out with friends that I hadn't seen for a while, and met their friends. I listened to inspiring people. I lost at buzzword bingo - being a bit cynical, I'd bet on "vision" as the word of the day. "Inspiration" was a run away winner - and rightly so. After a while it was wrong to keep score, and slightly embarrassing that we'd been so impolite as to cast aspersions on these peoples thoughts and ideas.

Highlights -

Jiochi Ito - a venture captialist from Silicon Valley who is part of the group setting up Creative Commons - a way to standardize legal agreements that will open up sharing of information, photos, articles and music across the internet. Mind blowing.

Dr Naif al Mutawa - hilarious. Seriously funny man. Describes himself as over educated as he couldn't figure out what to do after he got banned from Kuwait for his writing in the 90s. So he set up "The 99" - super heroes who each have a stone powered with one of the 99 traits of Allah. He's done an animated film, which will be shown at Cannes. DC Comics contacted him, and they're going to do a joint series where Superman/SpiderMan etc join up with the 99 to fight evil powers. How to influence the youth. Love, love, love it. And he was funny. Result.

Mohammed Saeed Harib - is it a coincidence that he's also in animation? Mohammed created Freej, which I love, and he was in equal parts an adorable young scruffy artist (in a dishdash and ghutra - in the style of our dear crown prince Fazza, naturally), as well as an entrepreneur and Chairman of his own empire. Freej came out of a project he was asked to do when he was at Northwestern, in the US. Base something on one of your cultural heroes, he was told. So he drew his grandmother and her three friends. Nuff said.

Paul Bennett - of Ideo. Sorry, did you hear that - he's from IDEO. They're really cool and alternative, and nothing like McKinsey. Did you notice my trendy scarf? It was featured in AN ARTICLE I was in, cos like, I'M IN THE MEDIA. But the most important thing we teach our employees is sublimation of the ego... maaan... we need to disappear.
Knob. We called him The Gnome.

Dubai Abdulla Abulhoul. Age 13. Youngest filmmaker in the region, and has decided already that she's going to win an Oscar. Wouldn't put it past her, and certainly wouldn't stand in her way. Mini dynamo - slightly precocious but to be honest... don't you have to be, to make it in that world?

Jamil Abu-Wardeh. I was introduced to him when he came over to set up MTV Arabia, probably 4 years ago. He then decided that the Arab world needed stand up comedy, so put together the Axis of Evil tour. Hilarious. He stood up and talked about the terms comedians use - "he bombed" = bad. "He killed" = good... and managed to spin out an 8min talk on the need for home grown entertainment, in to a commentary on language, and a proper laugh fest. That, is skill.

Ian Gilbert. Asked us if a crashed car was parked. Talked about developing education to inspire children. Asked why we need teachers when we have the internet. Managed to take a talk that could have been cliched and a bit predictable, and twist it to make our brains hurt. If only he'd been cloned and put in schools everywhere.

There were more. Ernst van der Poll spoke passionately about conserving our seas. Maserat Daud talked about inspiring teachers in 8 days. Khulood al Atiyat on her project "Unleash" about passing out journals in to the community for people to draw in and send back.

And finally - they showed us a video, from a previous TED winner, who came up with the Charter for Compassion. This to me, embodies everything that I was taught about religion. Sharing, understanding, compassion, conversation, community. These people are honestly building bridges, and I really hope they can make something out of this fledgling initiative. It is a pretty simple and non-religious message - do unto others as you would have done to you.

What a fantastic day.

Distant echoes of "ch-ching" for Twitter?

I picked up an interesting link today from a post by @CMEGroup on Twitter, which was a blog post about the potential for algorithmic trading based on Twitter feeds.

The blogger highlights a new technology from StreamBase, who have developed a Twitter interface for their CEP engine, or in layman's language, their blackbox trading technology. Basically, they have built applications that look at real time events, analyse their impact and decide whether to act - eg decide whether to trade based on that event/information.

Their release sums it up best:Mark Palmer, CEO of StreamBase (@mrkwpalmer). “We’re seeing business applications that ingest Twitter message content, frequency, patterns, hashtag use, and so on, and then transmit Twitter messages. For example, trading systems or operations support can use Twitter direct messaging to alert users of trading opportunities or system problems. Systems can also use Twitter messages to assess economic sentiment in real-time for trading systems, or marketing analytics, through monitoring news headlines and popular sentiment transmitted via Twitter. And we’ve even seen interest from the government and security industries for in-bound Twitter message processing.”

The most interesting point for me is how this shows that there is real business use for the "fuzzy" facts that Twitter offers. In one of the response posts, the blogger states:"Streambase's ability to use Twitter as a source of "fuzzy" information would increase my edge on the rest of the market."

This is the key point for me - as he makes clear, trading is not an exact science, and traders use every source of material possible to spot trends, and make their trading decisions before that trend breaks. For example, the Iran election news that broke on Twitter could have impacted FX trading. In a more local example, the recent #etisalatfail stories about the Blackberry patch should impact Etisalat's business, if it weren't part of one of the most ridiculous duopolies ever dreamed up.

What this also underlines though, is the fact that Twitter appeals most to those in the news, media, and tech industries. These are the people that see the value and are out there busily forming communities and creating conversations, and it could be the case that the stellar rates of growth slow once those industries are online and Tweeting away. Yes, there are lots of people in those industries. Yes, there are celebrities and their followers (though I think this phenomenon has a shelf-life, personally). But when positioned against the likes of Facebook, which is designed to appeal to everyone with some semblance of a family or social life, I'm not sure that Twitter has the same ubiquitous appeal.

So, the trading industry has seen a potential business opportunity in Twitter, and is now busily making it work for them as a media alert service and trend spotting tool. It seems to me that this is where Twitter needs to start to get smart and actively start searching for ways to license fat feeds to companies such as StreamBase, answering the interminable question - how can Twitter make money?